Beating the Holiday Blues and Stress - and Other Christmas Goodies

Dear friends,

I just wrote a post for my main blog, http://www.virginiaknowles.blogspot.com/, that could just have well gone here, so I wanted to send you the link for it:   Beating the Holiday Blues and Stress

You might also like to read my newest Advent poem there: Invitation to Stillness which is for those of us who get frazzled and busy and out of sorts.

I also have a page on that blog which indexes all of my Christmas articles from all of my blogs.  You can find it here: Christmas!

Joy and peace to you and yours!
Virginia Knowles
http://www.comewearymoms.blogspot.com/

Christmas Gift Tips from Shopping to Shipping

Dear friends,

With so many children, I’ve really had to get organized when it comes to buying, storing, and shipping Christmas gifts. Here are several miscellaneous tips:

Ask each family member to write a Wish List.  Then have them mark each item whether it is "gotta have", "would be great" or "nice but not necessary". Make sure they are specific if they want a certain brand or title of something. Have them copy their final version onto an index card. Using the Wish Lists and your budget (made with your husband), write out a list of what you plan to buy or make for each one. Do each person’s list on a separate index card or notebook page. Also, list relatives and friends, and what you intend to do for them. Finally, list Christmas extras, such as outdoor lights, craft supplies, etc. Estimate prices and add it all up to make sure you won’t go over budget. Allow some buffer for special deals, bad estimates, forgotten items, etc. Then make a list of items for each store that you intend to visit.


Make a Christmas shopping organizer for your purse. Take a manila file folder and open it up so that the crease goes vertically up the middle. Now fold about four inches of the bottom edge up so that makes a pocket. Tape the edges of the pocket on the left and right hand sides. Next, fold the left side in almost half way, and do the same with the right side. Now you have a four panel pocket folder that will probably fit in your purse. Use one section for Wish List index cards, another section for your Shopping Plan index cards, another section for Coupons and Ads and the final section for Receipts. As you buy things, you can check them off your list and add them to a running total.


Wear an extra large hip pack on your shopping trips. This takes stress off your shoulder (if you usually wear a purse) or reduces risk of theft (if you usually leave it in your cart or on your stroller). I like the hip pack because it keeps my hands free for dealing with purchases, packages and children.


If at all possible, go shopping without your children. If you don’t have a teenager or nearby relative who can babysit for you, try arranging with another mom to trade childcare for a few hours at a time. When you do go shopping with children (like when THEY are doing some shopping), remember that stores are very busy and that there may be criminals lurking about waiting for an opportunity to snatch a child. Keep your young ones with you!


Christian books, music and videos make excellent holiday gifts since they can encourage someone in the faith. I have always done a major chunk of my shopping at Christian bookstores, especially using discount cards or coupons.  If you want to get great Christian stuff for a good price on-line, try Christian Book Distributors. 


When you get your goodies home, you have to store them out of sight and out of reach! I label a large paper bag for each family member (either a grocery bag or an old gift bag), open it up so that it stands by itself, and put it on my closet shelf. When needed, I can take it all down and see what I have and what I still need.  I've also been known to stash Christmas presents in a large plastic (not clear) bin in my closet, which is strictly off-limits in December.

When it's time to wrap, work in piles.  If you have several children, you might need to check and be sure you have an equitable amount of gifts per child.  We don't spend huge amounts of money on our kids -- maybe $25 per child -- but I do try to get each of the younger ones several things, even if some of them are from the dollar store.  So some of them may have less packages to open because one or two of their items are a bit more expensive.  When I have finished all of my shopping, I lock my bedroom door and get out all of the presents.  Then I start creating a pile for each child.  I make sure it all looks pretty fair, sometimes shifting an item from one child's pile to another, or deciding that two or more kids can share a larger gift like a game that needs more than one player.  Sometimes, if one child has a whole bunch of smaller items, I bundle them together.  Older siblings often help me wrap, so I just put their stuff out of sight before letting them in the room.

Establish a Christmas wrapping station stocked with paper, tape, ribbons, gift tags, scissors, etc. Give your kids lessons on how to wrap efficiently so they don’t waste too much paper. Or design your own paper and tags with finger paints or rubber stamps. Let your older children assist your younger ones with wrapping presents for Mom and Dad.  If you have bulky or unusually shaped items, try putting them in pillowcases and tying the top with a ribbon.  If you will be mailing packages, be sure to have cardboard boxes and something like bubble wrap to protect the contents.


A few words about postage: You can call the post office at 1-800-ASK-USPS or log on to the web site at http://www.usps.gov/ to find out the cost for mailing any package. You will need to know the weight in pounds and ounces (use your kitchen scale for this), your zip code and the zip code of the destination. If you stock up on lots of postage stamps ahead of time ($1, 10 cent and 1 cent), you can avoid lots of trips to the post office this way. You can also let your children practice "place value" math concepts by deciding which stamps to use. If your package contains ONLY "media", which includes bound printed matter (books, magazines, calendars, and such, but not catalogs or loose papers), audio cassettes, CDs or videos, then you can send it cheaper but may take a little longer to deliver. You must mark these packages as "MEDIA RATE." Also check the price of Priority Mail -- sometimes it costs only a few pennies more than First Class. And always be sure to allow plenty of time for your packages to get there! If the contents of your package are valuable, check into insuring it. It doesn’t cost that much extra.  Or, skip out on shipping packages entirely by ordering on-line and having them mailed directly to the recipient.


I hope these ideas help make your Christmas shopping season a little easier!

Virginia Knowles
http://www.comewearymoms.blogspot.com/

A Bittersweet Advent

A BITTERSWEET ADVENT

by Virginia Knowles in 2002

[Virginia's note: This was written in December 2002 -- and still as applicable as ever! As many of you know, my mother-in-law passed away the following September, full of Jesus.]

It’s Christmastime, and life is supposed to be jolly! But it’s not, at least not always. For many of us, this Advent season brings a strong sense of the bittersweet aspects of real life.

Several weeks ago, as I was speaking to a home school group, I commented my family is “swimming in stress soup” right now, with unemployment, an exhausting pregnancy, and all the other niggling challenges of life in a large home schooling family. Little did I know what was to come! My wonderful mother-in-law, who has been quite ill this past month, was diagnosed with a second case of cancer, this time inoperable. My dear husband Thad has been taking care of her and tending to her business matters almost full-time since she has been sick, which actually makes me thankful for this period of “unemployment.” As we await more test results, and then see her through chemotherapy and radiation, the future remains uncertain.


I know that we aren’t the only ones in the midst of trials. I hear from so many of you who are facing illness or death, either for yourself or in your families. Some of you sorely miss loved ones who have passed away, or are just far away in other cities. Some of you have spouses who are being deployed to the Middle East or other far-flung locations for our national defense. (And God bless you for it!) Some of you have simmering and even boiling conflicts with family or friends, which alienate you during this season of supposed “peace on earth, goodwill to men.” Some of you are on what could charitably be called a “tight budget,” and like us, are doing your Christmas shopping at the dollar store and the clearance bins. And some of you are just plain tired from running all over town searching for just the right gifts, or chauffeuring children to endless holiday events that require hours of preparation and fancy clothes that will only be worn once.

Yes, the Advent season can be bittersweet, even in the middle of jolly parties, holiday baking, tree trimming and gift wrapping.

May I offer a few observations and encouragement?

The manger was not filled with tinsel, and I don’t think there were any candy canes or mistletoe hung overhead either! That first Christmas, joyous as it was, spangled with the Star of Bethlehem, heralded by an angelic chorus -- was still bittersweet. Imagine being God the Son, leaving the glory of Heaven, and being plopped into a scratchy, smelly barn to be raised by lowly humans, and later, mocked and crucified by those you came to save. That’s a real life Christmas. Life on earth was no vacation for our Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ. He came to serve, not be served. Likewise, we should be about our Father’s business, not just expecting everything to be automatically perfect just because it is December. As we face the challenges, we should have a multi-faceted approach.



First, we trust that God has allowed each circumstance to enter our lives for our enrichment in the faith. If we have confidence in the sovereign grace of God, who controls all things, we can not only survive the trials, but learn and grow through them. At least they will cause us to learn harder on our gracious Lord, who wants us to depend on Him and not ourselves anyway.

Second, we look for practical ways to minimize the extra stress by dealing with the realities of life. For example, we can reduce our expectations of what Christmas needs to be. Much of our overload is caused because we are trying to create unrealistic images or experiences for our children. This causes us to overspend and overschedule, just cramming it all in. Slow down! Spend less! Learn to savor the relationships you have with family and friends -- you never know when this will be the last Christmas you will see or talk to a loved one! If those relationships are ailing, we must seek to repair and restore them, rather than shoving the problems under the carpet. Preferably this could be done right now, so you aren’t trying to hastily patch things up over the sweet potato casserole at the Christmas dinner table.

Third, we should find little ways to follow Jesus’ example of serving. If you are not personally going through trials right now, I can assure you that someone you know is suffering, perhaps in silence. Please be sensitive to this, so that you won’t blithely blunder through the holidays! Find a way to extend the healing grace of God. For some, this will be as simple as writing a sweet note to a discouraged friend or a check to a charitable organization. Other families might be involved in some sort of service project -- caroling at the nursing home, serving food at the homeless shelter, or delivering gifts to a needy family. It takes our minds off our own troubles when we help those who may be even less fortunate than we are. It can remove the root of selfishness that clamors for our own needs to be met, and instead plant the seeds of compassion.

Above all, let us seek to glorify the One whom we celebrate in this Advent season, bittersweet as it may be.

Handling Family Issues and Visiting During the Holidays

As Thanksgiving and Christmas approach, I realize that these holidays can be stressful when visiting others, and I would like to encourage you with a few ideas to make the best of your celebrations, especially family gatherings.

• Communicate ahead of time what each person expects during the visit. What will you be doing? Who will you visit? Who will stay where? Who is going to pay for what? Who is providing food, and what kind? Are there any special diets or restrictions on treats? Are there any guidelines about acceptable gifts or spending limits? "The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction. Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:21, 24
• Prepare for conflict about varying lifestyles. Some people may criticize your decisions on how you raise your children.  Or, they may be open about their own lifestyle choices that you might not approve of. I have found that the best approach to this is to be confident and pleasant about how we live and what we believe, and not get into unnecessary conflicts about how other people live. Smile! If a conversation gets a little too heated, change the subject or quietly leave the room. "Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." Colossians 4:5-6
• Be aware of the "emotional baggage" that each person might bring into a situation. Our past relationships with those we are visiting can affect our present relationships of those we bring with us. Do you or your spouse revert to old patterns when you go "home" to your family of origin? Is this a good thing? Talk about this ahead of time -- sweetly, of course! "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19
• Discuss ahead of time how you will deal with your children's misbehavior. First of all, you can prevent much of this with proper rest, regular meals, and advance training. If you are visiting a house that is filled with people, you may need to come up with creative solutions for privately dealing with an unpleasant situation. "The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools." Ecclesiastes 9:17
• Remember that wherever you go and whoever you see, if you are a disciple of Jesus Christ, then you must seek to honor him in whatever you do and say. "We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us." 2 Corinthians 5:20.
• Be flexible if things don't work out as you have planned. Your children might get sick, your car might break down, you may get snowed in. God is still in control! How you respond to challenging situations will be a powerful example to your children, for better or for worse! "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:2-5