"The Blue Bowl" and Thoughts on Making a Home

The Blue Bowl

Blanche Bane Kuder

All day I did the little things,

The little things that do not show;

I brought the kindling for the fire

I set the candles in a row,

I filled a bowl with marigolds,


The shallow bowl you love the best-


And made the house a pleasant place


Where weariness might take its rest.

The hours sped on, my eager feet


Could not keep pace with my desire.


So much to do, so little time!


I could not let my body tire;


Yet, when the coming of the night


Blotted the garden from my sight,


And on the narrow, graveled walks


Between the guarding flower stalks


I heard your step: I was not through


With services I meant for you.

You came into the quiet room


That glowed enchanted with the bloom


Of yellow flame. I saw your face,


Illumined by the firelit space,


Slowly grow still and comforted-


“It’s good to be at home,” you said.

Blue rimmed bowl from Goodwill
Marigolds from Lowes 

I read this poem many years ago and it has always stuck in my head.

I'm not a Susie Homemaker and it's really hard to keep the house clean, orderly, and pretty when there are 10 people still living in the house.  But I try.

I think the core of the matter is consideration: thinking what the other person might like. What matters most to each will vary, whether it is clean laundry, or a well-cooked meal, or a blue bowl with golden marigolds gracing the table. 

African marigold
(much larger bloom than the others)

Not every person will be appreciative of our efforts, whether in the home or elsewhere.  Our work may go completely unnoticed or even be criticized.  Your loved ones may not say, "It's good to be home!"  Gratitude might not be in their vocabulary.

This is not the time to give up.  Try to understand what they want and make your reasonable effort to bring them joy and peace in a way that fits them.  Watch for the little clues about what they like.  Listen to the hints and the suggestions.

Just don't get stuck in a performance trap. Your worth is not tied to their approval.  You have been created by a Gracious God who treasures your presence and your efforts.  You have dignity no matter what anyone else thinks.

Do the things you need to do for others just because it is right and good, and we are all called to serve with love and diligence and confidence.  

Sometimes the sanctuary and beauty you create will be for yourself.  Taking care of Mama is the right thing to do, too.  If you are overwhelmed and exhausted and emptied out, you will have nothing left to give -- and what good that be?  Nurturing yourself is good for your whole family.  Like my old t-shirt said, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"

What do you think?  Leave a comment!

With love,

Virginia Knowles

www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

Bella Sophia (Lady Wisdom Sets Her Table)

"Bella Sophia"

 by Virginia Knowles

Lady Wisdom diligently prepares her feast

She fixes her savory meats and mixes her sweet wines

Then arranges her lovely banquet table:

Linens, bouquets, crystal, china, silver, candles

With exquisite hospitality and grace

She welcomes her guests:

"Come in, sit down, and dine!"

This feast is for our souls

Lady Wisdom nourishes our minds with solid truth

And delights our spirits with goblets of merry mirth

She pleases our inner eyes and ears with a deep harmony

A heart mark of the Creator.

Dear Lady Wisdom,

Teach me to teach as you do

To season my words with the spices of love and prayer

To think before I speak so I will know

What each hungry heart needs to hear

Show me how to captivate hearts and minds

With insight and satisfy their souls with delight

To feed them the honeycomb of pleasant words

Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Bella Sophia

Beautiful Lady Wisdom

Help me to spread a banquet in my home 

With the Meat of the Word

The Bread of Life and Living Water

The Fruit of the Spirit

Then come alongside 

And call out with me through open doors,

"Welcome, sit down, and dine!"

Wisdom has built her house;
she has set up its seven pillars.
² She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine;
she has also set her table.
³ She has sent out her servants, and she calls
from the highest point of the city,
⁴ “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
⁵ “Come, eat my food
and drink the wine I have mixed.
⁶ Leave your simple ways and you will live;
walk in the way of insight.”
Proverbs 9:1-6

I read these words from Proverbs Saturday morning and started thinking about how I communicate with others.  It still wasn't a good day for that -- so many cross conversations! As a mother, I do need ​bella ​sophia, beautiful wisdom, in ​the atmosphere of​  my home. ​  How am I nurturing my own children?  I've got so much to learn and do.  As a writer, I try to set the table on my blogs with a variety of articles, some serious, some practical, some aesthetic, some light-hearted.  As an English teacher, too, I see the need to reach the hearts and minds of each of my students.  Lesson planning takes effort, but it's worth it.  Yes, I teach grammar and spelling, but most of all, through the literature, writing, music and art appreciation that I plan each week, I try to impart wisdom for life.  After reading in Proverbs 9, I'll now try to think of it as preparing the feast and setting the table -- with enough substance to sustain them and enough delight to capture their hearts for the truth.  What do you think about this?

Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

P.S. I borrowed the table photo from my post Weekend Gratitude: Welcoming Touches.  (Many thanks to my friend Judy, who hosted our Dinner with Friends feast two weeks ago!) 

This post will be shared at the following blog parties:

• Raising Homemakers
• Wise Woman
• Whole-Hearted Home
• Walking Redeemed
• Still Saturday
• The Sunday Community
• Domestically Divine
• Ann Kroeker's Food on Fridays