Mom's Chauffeur and Courier Service (A Little Encouragement)

My day "off" started off not with a bang, but my teenager's gentle voice around 6:30 in the morning: "Mom, I missed the bus.  I tried to let you sleep as late as I could, but I need a ride to school."  Huh?  What?  Oh.  Up I go. Change into day clothes, keys in hand, we can do this.  Let's enjoy the beautiful sunrise and a little time spent with a very sweet son.  I'm a mom of 10 with seven still living at home, so one-on-one time is precious.

I got home in time to make sure my youngest daughter's hair was combed and that my youngest son was out of bed.  Keys in hand, off to the elementary school several blocks away.   Then home again in time to eat some breakfast and take another daughter and a neighbor to their middle school bus top several blocks away.  Done yet with driving?  I thought so...

But no.  Within minutes, I got a text from my daughter that she had left the Cheetos for a class party in the van.  Could I bring them to school for her at lunch time?  Sure, why not.  Not so far away, eh?

And then, and then, I got a call from one of my adult daughters asking for a "big favor, Mom."   Could I bring the set of her paint brushes she had left on her bed? As soon as possible, please?  I had to laugh.  Yep, got it.  I took a shower, threw some laundry in the washer, printed out my To Do list for the next few days.  Keys in hand, off to the college to bring my amazing artist her tools.  (I can't wait to go see the college's juried art show opening night next week.  She had six pieces accepted for display, out of the 60 total. Did I say she is an amazing artist?)

On the way back from from the college, I decided to take advantage of being in that end of town and stopped by an antique store I spotted.  The owner was just unlocking the door, a half hour past the regular opening time.  Chatting with her in the store, I discovered her morning had been much like mine, running around town taking care of stuff for her adult son's family since he was sick.  We both smiled and agreed: "We do for family."  Yes we do.

After sorting a huge laundry pile into baskets for the kids to fold, and then doing a little prep work for school (I teach three days a week), I crashed for a much needed nap in the afternoon.  My husband kindly offered to pick up two kids from school, and another from a bus stop.  But I still needed to take one son to work at Chick-Fil-A.  The two youngest each had a coupon for a free small pizza from Dominoes. Yes, we could stop by on the way home, couldn't we?  Sure, why not?  At least I didn't have to make dinner, right?  Except that when we got there, we found out they didn't take those "Student Reward" coupons, which were issued by a store several miles north.  Just as well, that would give me time to order ahead by phone so we wouldn't have to wait long.  Off we go again. Serendipitously, this Dominoes was right next to a used book store I had been wanting to visit since I had seen it on the way home from the college in the morning.  And even better, they take trades, and I just happened to have a bag of books in the van that I had intended to sell at a different bookstore closer to home.  I was able to find three very encouraging and timely books to apply my store credit from what they wanted from me.  Yes!  My son was also enthralled with their amazing manga collection.  And eating pizza in the van.  His very own pizza.  All for him, and all gone now!

    

So yeah, today I've been "Mom's Chauffeur and Courier Service."  Lest you think my kids are taking advantage of me, it's rare that one of them needs to be bailed out, and truth be told, they bail me out just as often by driving a sibling to work, picking up something at the store, making dinner when I'm rushed, baby sitting, helping the younger ones with homework...  It's all good.

It's been a day.  A good day. A Mom day.  But now, my keys are in my purse!

Oh yes, those books!  Here is such a relevant snippet from one of them, starting on the very first page.

"And it's not uncommon to find ourselves wondering, How does this whole crazy puzzle fit together?  Anne Morrow Lindbergh observed somewhere in her timeless little book, Gift from the Sea, that most of us don't really mind pouring our lives out for a reason.  What we do resent is the feeling that it is being dribbled away in small, meaningless drips for no good reason."  For me, one of the greatest frustrations of walking through the "dailiness" of my life is that I don't always get to see how the bits and pieces of who I am fit into the big picture of God's plan.  It's tempting to see my life as a meal here, a meeting there, a carpool, a phone call, a sack of groceries -- all disjointed fragments of nothing in particular.  Yet I know I am called, as God's child, to believe that they do add up.  That in some way every scrap of my life, every step and every struggle, is in the process of being fitted together into God's huge and perfect pattern for good (Romans 8:28).  As difficult as that is to "live into" daily, it had become for me a transforming truth, adding meaning to the mundane and purpose to the plodding."  (Kaleidscope: God's Pattern in the Bits & Pieces of a Woman's Life by Claire Cloninger)

(I picked up the book because the concept of the kaleidoscope is one I've been pondering lately.  You can see more here: Kaleidoscope.)

Grace and peace,

Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

The Proper Pressure

My friend Patty called yesterday.  "Do you want some bagels and flat bread?  I just got a whole bunch on clearance at the bakery outlet!"  Ever thoughtful, this old friend of mine!  She's been on Cru ministry staff, along with her husband, for most of her adult life. I've known her for nearly 20 years, and she's always been so full of grace and generosity.  I hadn't seen her in a while, but we keep in touch by e-mail and Facebook.

So Patty stopped by, and knowing she didn't come just to drop off some bread, I suggested we take a long stroll around my neighborhood and catch up in person.  Unfortunately, while we were gone, her tire went flat in my driveway. Completely unruffled, she opened her trunk, pulled out her little electric air pump, and plugged it into the car's lighter.  PSSSSH!   Little by little the tire regained its roundness.  Slow going, but "Slow and steady wins the race!" as the tortoise well knew. I thought that pump was really nifty and told her I'd have to get one since they're only about $25.  

As we continued to talk, Patty hit the off button and pulled out the pump nozzle.  But the tire was still pretty flat! She smiled.  She'd had a bright idea that I didn't know about.  Yep, that's right.  She wanted me to learn how to pump up a tire from start to finish. Not just watch her, but DO it myself!  So I did.  Check the PSI number on the tire to find the proper air pressure so I wouldn't over-inflate it.  Put the nozzle on the tire and flip the clamp lever.  Plug it in to the car.  Flip the on switch. Watch the dial until it reaches the PSI.  Turn it off and take the nozzle off the tire.  The whole works.  I am now an empowered woman.  

Patty explained to me that since her husband is very often out of the country on mission trips, she's had to learn to do a lot of things for herself.  It keeps her from getting too frazzled.  Because we're both philosophical chicks, we started musing about the metaphor of the tire pump and the PSI number.  How do we find the proper pressure in our lives?  Without air in our tires, we can't roll, but when does the pressure get too much and threaten a blow out?  When are we taking on more than we can handle?  When do we need to learn to back off and let it go?  Or conversely, when do we need more air, more pressure?  When do we need to step it up and take charge and make it happen?  Good questions!  

For Patty, this means there are certain ministry settings where she does not thrive.  She knows what she can do and what she can't.  It means finding emotional support from others when things get a bit much.  It means accepting herself for who she is, rather than comparing to others who seem to have it all together. It means being resourceful, and finding ways to do practical things by herself and for herself. 

In my own life, I find myself stressing about things I can't control while overlooking other problems that I should at least try to solve.  I have to know when to walk by and when to dig in.  I have to set boundaries and form reasonable expectations for myself and others. And I've had to learn to do a lot of things for myself rather than expecting others to do them for me.  I visit a Christian counselor.  I have a wonderful, supportive church and friends and family who check in on me and pray for me.  I read a variety of blogs that help me both think and do things that will improve life at home and at work.  I write in my journal or call a friend.  I tackle a mess or close a door.  I set goals and make a To Do list to motivate myself to action.  At age 50, I don't have all the pep I did when I first met Patty, but slow and steady wins the race, right?

How about you?  How do you find the proper pressure in your life?  What is your part to play, and what is not?

You might also like to read these related posts: 

• Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
• Beating the Holiday Blues and Stress

Grace and peace,
Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com


This post may be linked at these blogs:

Still Saturday

The Sunday Community

Raising Homemakers on Wednesday

Whole-Hearted Home on Wednesday

Wise Woman Link Up on Wednesday

Walking Redeemed on Wednesday

  

Organizing First Aid Supplies, Medicines and Supplements

Dear friends,

Falling off the shelves and scattered around the house - that's the best way to describe the status of my health supplies this morning.  Something had to be done, especially since I had just replenished some of our medicines. (Why yes, I did find Claritin non-drowsy children's allergy chewables for $4.50 a box on the clearance shelf at Walmart -- a day after spending $11 on the exact same thing at Walgreens.  We go through the stuff pretty fast, so I bought two more boxes.)

My first step: gather up everything
and bring it to the dining room table.

I sorted it all out into the bins I already had labeled

for different types of supplies.

In my main medicine bin,
I keep respiratory meds (for allergies and colds) on the left,
digestion and stomach meds in the middle,
and pain meds on the right.
This makes it easier to find what I need.

I labeled the edges of the boxes and the tops of lids.
I also clearly wrote the expiration dates.
I got rid of a lot of items that were past due. 

I divvied up the adhesive bandages by size and shape,
and put them in labeled boxes and zip bags.
A pouch with a real zipper holds antibiotic ointment,
disinfectant wipe packets, small scissors, and other supplies
like medical tape and steri-strips.

Here is everything ready to be put back in the cupboards.
Front left: stuff to go back into the bathroom.
Middle left: supplements to be sorted into daily bags.
Back left: ear and eye care, plus thermometer supplies.
Front: first aid bin.
Middle right: medicines in bin.
Back right: herbs and vitamins bin.

Most of our medicines and first aid supplies
are stored in the kitchen on a top cupboard shelf.
The box with herbs, adult vitamins and other supplements
is behind the medicine box.
After I took this picture, I put the kids' vitamins 
in front of the first aid box for easy access.

Extras and items that I need handy at nighttime
(like chewable antacid tablets)
are in the bathroom medicine chest.
We always keep chewable aspirin close by.Taken quickly after symptoms start,
chewable aspirin can greatly reduce the severity
of a heart attack or stroke!
Yes, my husband and I are both at risk for that
due to age and family history!

For quite a while, I hadn't been taking my nutritional supplements
like vitamins, evening primrose oil, and thyroid boosters.
I portioned out daily amounts onto two divided styrofoam plates 
and stored them in baggies labeled for each day of the week.
(While looking at this picture in the blog post,
I just realized that I forgot the little white round ones!)

Later, I bought a nice roomy pill box
and put it on my desk with a water bottle
so I can remember to take them
when I sit down to work on my computer.

So anyway, I'm so glad I organized the first aid box this morning, because we sure needed it after dinner!  I'm relieved I could find what I needed so quickly because...

My little girl rode her scooter in bare feet, and got her big toe stuck between the wheel and the frame.

The first thing I saw, after hearing her piercing screams, was the trail of blood down the hallway.

Steri-strip

Big sister Rachel (in nursing school) attempted to calm Mely's little girl hysterics and apply pressure to stop the bleeding, while I held her foot still and muttered under my breath about the virtues of chloroform.  Rachel cleaned off the wound as best she could (under the circumstances), closed it with steri-strips, and wrapped it in gauze.  (I sure do love steri-strips! They are a thin strip of reinforced gauze with adhesive on the back.  You cut off the length you need and stretch it across the wound, pinching it shut a little and securing on each side.  They stay on until the cut is healed, acting like stitches. We've saved lots of trips to the doctor with those.)  Unfortunately, this cut looked a little intense, so we decided "better safe than sorry" and hauled her off to the urgent care clinic. (The CentraCare at Aloma and SR 436 in Winter Park is open until midnight.)  Another big sister, who is great for consolation and amusement, came along to help.  What a godsend they both are.  Big sisters don't fit in my first aid box though!

What did the nurse and doctor do?  Pretty much what Rachel did: cleaned it off as best they could, closed it with steri-strips, and wrapped it in gauze.  They did add betadine with liquid adhesive to the routine, to simultaneously disinfect the wound and glue the steri-strips on more securely.  I gotta get me some of that stuff for my first aid box!  They also gave me the scissors and tweezers they had used, since they discard them after each use.  I needed some good pointy scissors to cut gauze and steri-strips, so I was pretty happy about that.  I'm also happy that Mel'y calmed down and cooperated.  I guess it helped that she didn't need needle-and-thread stitches!  And maybe she'll remember to wear her socks and sneakers the next time she rides her scooter!

Mel'y with her nurse and doctor,
blankie and bear

How do you organize your medicines and first aid supplies?  Share your ideas in a comment!

To your family's health!
Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

P.S. I just bought more stuff at Walmart: Bactine and New Skin for the first aid kit, since Betadine was really expensive.  New Skin is a sort of liquid bandage that you brush on to protect a wound.  It smells like nail polish!  I also stocked up on Loratidine for my own allergies, as well as other OTC meds from Walmart's 88 cents bin.  They also had simple elastic ankle, wrist, and knee braces (2 per package) for the same price.  

P.P.S. In this post, I forgot to mention that in our storage room, I keep a large labeled bin of assorted splints, sturdy reinforced braces (knee, ankle, wrist), slings, a cervical collar, etc.  We've collected these from various sports injuries and car accidents that my kids have been in, and they come in quite handy when someone else needs a little extra support.

P.P.P.S. I found out that a friend is ministering in a migrant worker community with 20+ families, and I thought it would be pretty neat to assemble simple first aid kits: bandages, anti-bacterial wipes, antibiotic ointment and pain reliever packaged in gallon size slider bags.  I'll have to talk to her about that and see if I can enlist some friends to help with the cost!

Other organization posts on my blogs:

• A Place for Everything

• Organizing with Plastic Zip-Style Bags at Home and On the Go

• "Bin There, Done That" (Or How to Keep School Clutter from Turning You Into a Basketcase)
• Let Our Ordered Lives Confess the Beauty of Thy Peace...?
• Menu Planning Tips & Links
• Organizing and Laundering Your Linens
• First Steps to a Tidy Home / Children & Chores

• Busy and Creative at Home

All Saint's Day and Quotes on Prayer

My Little Explorer
(Will she be a jungle missionary someday?)

Happy All Saints Day, my friends!

I ate leftovers for breakfast -- leftover Reese's peanut butter cups, M & M's, Kit-Kats, Snickers...  Yes, we are recovering from a Halloween-induced sugar rush at our house this morning.   I took my three middle school / high school kids to a youth group party at the church office last night, and after trick-or-treating in that neighborhood, I sat at the door with my little explorer, who gleefully handed out candy to folks coming by the office.  (It's in a planned community with live-work units, so the place was packed!)

And now it's All Saints Day, that oft forgotten holiday.  I'm no Catholic, but I still like to pause and reflect about the saints -- believers in Jesus -- who have gone before me. This morning, I thought a fitting tribute might be a collection of quotes on prayer and compassion by many wise and good saints from yesteryear.  This is good for me, because prayer hasn't exactly been  my strong suit lately and I'm trying to get back into it.  I especially need to pray for my own children!  Maybe it would help to read "Teaching Our Children to Walk With God" by Shiela Catanzarite.

Grace and peace,
Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com


Some people think God does not like to be troubled with our constant coming and asking. The way to trouble God is not to come at all. - D. L. Moody

Prayer is weakness leaning on omnipotence. - W. S. Bowden

He who has no vision of ETERNITY will never get a true hold of TIME. - T. Carlyle

Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire? - Corrie ten Boom

Do not have your concert first, and then tune your instrument afterwards. Begin the day with the Word of God and prayer, and get first of all into harmony with Him. –James Hudson Taylor

You must GO forward on your knees. - James Hudson Taylor
Compassion costs. It is easy enough to argue, criticize and condemn, but redemption is costly, and comfort draws from the deep. Brains can argue, but it takes heart to comfort. –Samuel Chadwick 

There is nothing that makes us love a man so much as praying for him. - William Law

If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies. If they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees. Let no one GO there UNWARNED and UNPRAYED for. - Charles Spurgeon

It is not the bee's touching on the flowers that gathers the honey, but her abiding for a time upon them, and drawing out the sweet. It is not he that reads most, but he that meditates most on divine truth, that will prove the choicest, strongest Christian. - Joseph Hall 

The Christian on his knees sees more than the philosopher on tiptoe. - D. L. Moody

Talking to men for God is a great thing, but talking to God for men is greater still. - E. M. Bounds

The one concern of the devil is to keep Christians from praying. He fears nothing from prayerless studies, prayerless work, and prayerless religion. He laughs at our toil, mocks at our wisdom, but trembles when we pray. - Samuel Chadwick

And we ourselves are 'saved to save' - we are made to give - to let everything go if only we may have more to give. The pebble takes in all the rays of light that fall on it, but the diamond flashes them out again; every little facet is a means, not simply of drinking more in, but of giving more out. - Lillias Trotter

It is wonderful what God can do with a broken heart, if He gets all the pieces. –Samuel Chadwick

You shall find this to be God’s usual course: not to give his children the taste of his delights till they begin to sweat in seeking after them. - Richard Baxter

Lord grant that the FIRE of my heart may melt the lead in my feet. - Unknown

Work as if everything depended upon your work, and pray as if everything depended upon your prayer. - William Booth

When we get a glimpse of the worth of a soul, and begin to realize that we stand between lost men and Heaven or Hell, then we shall have real concern and the Lord will hear our prayers of intercession. - J. W. Mahood

How long will it take us to learn that our shortest route to the man next door is by way of God's throne? – A. T. Pierson

Oh! men and brethren, what would this heart feel if I could but believe that there were some among you who would go home and pray for a revival – men whose faith is large enough, and their love fiery enough to lead them from this moment to exercise unceasing intercessions that God would appear among us and do wondrous things here, as in the times of former generations. - C. H. Spurgeon

Some people become tired at the end of ten minutes or half an hour of prayer. What will they do when they have to spend Eternity in the presence of God? We must begin the habit here and become used to being with God. - Sadhu Sundar Singh

Prayer - secret, fervent, believing prayer - lies at the root of all personal godliness. -William Carey

The Church has not yet touched the fringe of the possibilities of intercessory prayer. Her largest victories will be witnessed when individual Christians everywhere come to recognize their priesthood unto God and day by day give themselves unto prayer. – John R. Mott

Prayer is not monologue, but dialogue. God’s voice in response to mine is its most essential part. - Andrew Murray

Satan trembles when he sees the weakest saint upon his knees. - William Cowper

Pray not for crutches but for wings. - Phillips Brooks

God never ceases to speak to us, but the noise of the world without and the tumult of our passions within bewilder us and prevent us from listening to him. - Fenelon

God will do nothing but in answer to prayer. - John Wesley

I have found that there are three stages in every great work of God: first, it is impossible, then it is difficult, then it is done. - Hudson Taylor

God never intended His Church to be a refrigerator in which to preserve perishable piety. He intended it to be an incubator in which to hatch out converts. - F. Lincicome

When we go to God by prayer, the devil knows we go to fetch strength against him, and therefore he opposeth us all he can. - Richard Sibbes

Pray often; for prayer is a shield to the soul, a sacrifice to God, and a scourge for Satan. - John Bunyan

Prayer will make a man cease from sin, or sin will entice a man to cease from prayer. - John Bunyan

Prayer is the midwife of mercy, that helps to bring it forth. - Matthew Henry

The angel fetched Peter out of prison, but it was prayer that fetched the angel.-Thomas Watson

Bear up the hands that hang down, by faith and prayer; support the tottering knees. Have you any days of fasting and prayer? Storm the throne of grace and persevere therein, and mercy will come down. - John Wesley

Are you living for the things you are praying for? - Austin Phelps

Words of Promise, Comfort and Encouragement

Dear friends,

Yesterday, in my post Weekend Gratitude: In Every Situation on one of my other blogs, I mentioned that I had compiled a box of Scripture encouragement cards as a gift for my cousin Jean.  These are some of the passages I included.  I can think of many others that I would like to have copied out for her but I have an injured writing hand just now.  It's even been a little hard just to copy and paste today from www.BibleGateway.com. I'll try to make a list of them later. :-)  These verses are all NIV, most of them from the 1984 edition that I prefer.

What are your favorite Bible verses?  Share them in a comment below!

I will give you hidden treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel, who summons you by name. Isaiah 45:3

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the juniper, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, that will endure forever. Isaiah 55:12-13 

Sing to the Lord, you saints of his; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help. You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever. Psalm 30:4-5, 10-13 

The Lord is exalted, for he dwells on high; he will fill Zion with his justice and righteousness. He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure. Isaiah 33:5-6 

His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 2 Peter 1:3-4 

But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.  To the Lord I cry aloud, and he answers me from his holy hill. Selah I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people. Selah  Psalm 3:3-5, 8 

‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. Zechariah 4:6b 

The joy of the Lord is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10b 

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:56-58 

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:2-3, 29, 32 

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before men,that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14 

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is —his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:1-2 

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope,patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.  Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:9-18 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. Romans 15:5-7  

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.  But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.  James 3:13, 17-18 

Grace and peace to your and your family today,

Virginia Knowles

www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

Linked to Word-Filled Wednesday

Sunshine On His Shoulders Makes Him Happy

Every time we ride in the van as a family, my youngest son races to be first to get the front seat. Why? So he can put the window down and stick his face out the window to feel the breeze and sunshine.  The rest of us would rather close the windows and leave the air conditioning on, and I've had to call the shots (UP!) on scorcher days with a van full of kids, but it's not too much to indulge his fresh air desires once in a while, is it?


Little things.


What can you do to make a child smile today?


Virginia

This post is linked to 

 P52 Photo Project Week #30 on July 21, theme "Sunshine"

Hope, Joy, and Pineapple Coconut Bundt Cake

Dear friends,

Last night, Lake Baldwin Church's women gathered for an encouraging evening called "Drinking from the Well."  Monica Taffinder, a Christian counselor who is co-founder of Grace Clinic, shared on the topic of "Celebrating Hope and Joy in the Midst of Our Realities."  Many of the thoughts I am writing here are ones she expressed, while others are my own observations.  Then there is the silly little story of the pineapple coconut bundt cake I brought.


Celebrating hope and joy? The reality is that many Christian women experience disappointment, disillusionment and depression.  Many of us face multiple simultaneous stresses, whether taking care of young children or elderly parents, marriage crises, infertility, wayward teens, church conflicts, financial distress, loneliness, or even general anxiety about what it going on in our communities and the world around us.


Hope and joy can be hard to find, especially when we confuse hope with expectation and joy with happiness.




A hope is something that we want to happen, that could possibly happen.  We all desire healthy families, nurturing friendships, personal significance, and meaningful work.  We are supposed to hope for and work toward these things!  And yet our hope is not to be in these things or in our efforts, but in God, who is the good giver. We must trust that he will provide what we need, but not always what we want, and that what he gives us will be not only sufficient, but what is best.




An expectation is something that we think must happen for us to be satisfied.  A desire becomes a demand.  Unmet expectations can lead to anger and depression, so we feel like we have to control things and people to get what we want.  (In some cases, this need for control is a survival function left over from a chaotic or dysfunctional childhood.)  Many of our expectations are tied to our ideals and to our identities: "If I were a really good mom, I would...." or, for those who educate at home, "The children in godly home school families should turn out like this..."  And when we don't, or when they don't?  We try to force it!  Or we become judgmental, grumpy, guilt-ridden, spazzed out, or worse.  Besides our own expectations, we also need to be aware of how we respond to the expectations that others have for us.  Do we allow our ability (or not) to satisfy unreasonable demands from others to determine our sense of value?  Do we strive for perfect performance because we crave approval, or do we evaluate what is sensible, set our healthy boundaries, and choose to live as God himself has called us?  Just because someone else thinks you need to do it doesn't mean that you should do it.  Just because someone says that this is what good Christians do, doesn't mean that it is.  Learn to listen to God for what he wants you to do.




Back to our own hopes and desires, what are we to do when we want something out of life?  I like the picture of holding my desires before the Lord with an open hand, waiting to see what he will do.  That doesn't mean passivity.  We are still supposed to do our part!


What about joy? It's not the same as happiness, which is wonderful but fleeting.  Joy is connected to a sense of gratitude, as well as acceptance (not complacency) and forgiveness (not a denial of the hurt).  Joy and grief can co-exist. In fact, if you don't allow yourself to acknowledge and properly grieve what is wrong in your life, you can get stuck.  Then it is harder to move on toward embracing and appreciating what is right in your life, even though the bad stuff doesn't go away.  


Through it all, we need to stay connected to God, the source of joy.  Unfortunately, some of us equate religious activity with an authentic relationship with God to the point where piety becomes a substitute for intimacy. Merely going through the motions on the outside depletes our inner joy instead of replenishing it.  White-washed tomb, anyone?  Yet if we really truly knew how much God loves us and is for us, how much he rejoices over us in Christ, wouldn't we want to listen to him, trust him, and grow deep in him?  I don't know about you, but sometimes this is a struggle for me.


If our hope and joy are in God rather than in our circumstances or our performance, then we are also free to be bold.  We can move forward with confidence and not worry about a bit of failure or disapproval along the way.  We can take risks, starting with little ones like pineapple coconut bundt cake...

Pineapple Coconut Bundt Cake with Glaze
(the dark spots on the inside 
are hollow pockets -- oops!)

I had signed up to bring a sweet treat to the Drinking from the Well gathering.  Wanting a dessert that is a little out of the ordinary, I decided to make a pineapple coconut bundt cake.  The complication is that I didn't have a recipe!  I could have looked one up on the Internet, but I like to experiment on my own. I figured it would be easy enough to combine two boxes of yellow cake mix (along with the eggs, oil and a reduced amount of water), a can of crushed pineapple, and a cup of shredded coconut.  I poured most of it in the bundt pan, and then the rest into a loaf pan.  I pureed a little more pineapple, mixed it with brown sugar, and boiled it down to make a glaze to spread over the cake after it cooled.  When I took it out of the refrigerator the next day, I was surprised to find that it had sort of collapsed in the middle, and that there were some large hollow pockets inside.  It looked a little... weird!  I guess I had used too much batter in the pan!  Certainly not the perfect bundt cake. Hmmm.  Was it good enough to take to the ladies' gathering, or should I buy some cookies instead?  I scraped off the uneven parts from the middle and tasted them.  Very very gooey, but definitely delicious!   Did it really matter what it looked like?  No!  I knew that my friends weren't going to judge me on my cake's appearance.  I didn't need to feel insecure, so I was more than willing to take the risk.  As it turned out, my friends all raved about how it tasted and laughed with me about my "cake wreck" story.  Honestly, by the time I sliced it, you couldn't tell that it had "issues" to begin with!


Seriously though, I want to say more about my friends at church.  It's not just my cake that they accept.  I have experienced their warmth toward me ever since I stepped out of my car in the parking lot that first Sunday morning in September 2010.  I hadn't even gotten to the building yet before a dear lady heard my car door close, turned around, noticed a new face, and walked back to greet me.  The friendliness from people in the church continued, and it wasn't just the "love bombing" hype that some newcomers experience.  Whether it is inviting us over for a meal, or picking up our kids for youth group, or giving them a partial scholarship to summer camp, or dropping everything to come be with us in a time of need, or taking the time to tell me they liked my latest blog post, we have felt their kindness, hospitality, and generosity. Over the past year and a half I have found them willing to listen and help when I've shared some of the less-than-perfect places of my life, some of the hard situations with no easy answers.  And you know what?  My stories don't alarm them, because many of them have already been-there-done-that, and aren't afraid to say it.  My gratitude for them gives me great joy.  Their acceptance gives me great hope and comfort.  And that is becoming my new reality.


I can't end this post without sharing a music video of Sara Groves singing "Less Like Scars."  (If you are reading this via e-mail or blog reader, you'll have to visit the post on-line to view it.) Honestly, when my husband gave me this CD many years ago, I listened to it a few times but just didn't really "get" it.  It wasn't until later, in the storms of life that it sank in.




"Less Like Scars"
by Sara Groves

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle
But every day it's

Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It's less like a casket, more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars

Just a little while ago
I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back
I was desperate, broken, laid out, hoping
You would come

And I need you
And I want you here
And I feel you

And I know you're here And you're picking up the pieces 

Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands, a bad, bad situation
But you are able

And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars 

And more like character

~*~*~

Hope and joy!

Virginia Knowles

www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com